and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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