So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize