Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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