Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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