Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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