He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize