In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
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no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
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