My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize