paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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