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I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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