Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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