there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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