You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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