Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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