who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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