My Higher Power is John Stamos
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize