Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just invented taco cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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