come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize