yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize