we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize