ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize