Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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