I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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