how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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