Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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