Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize