OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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