In the future we'll all be gay
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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