is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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