I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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