Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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