what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
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Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
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T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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