Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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