Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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