Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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