I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize