yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize