oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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