would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
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I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
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You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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