Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
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I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
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Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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