He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Are we still banned from the library?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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