"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize