Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Blood and glitter go together right?
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Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize