They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
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He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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