Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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