I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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