Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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