Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
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THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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