I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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