epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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